iammemyself

Part 132. The Future Starts With You - “Okay,” Chell says the next afternoon. “I get your point.” “What point?” “You made me make an appointment.” Oh. That. “I actually don’t make my own appointments. That’s my assistant’s job.” Damn right it is. She’s wearing the hooded sweatshirt I put in the Companion Cube all those years ago. If she’d done that on any other day, I would have been delighted. After yesterday, it strikes me as… mildly manipulative. But what else could she possibly want from me? That bad feeling from yesterday is back. Whatever it is, it makes me want to get rid of her as quickly as possible. It’s strange. I don’t usually want to do that with my friends. While I do want to expedite their exit, on occasion, it’s more often because I’m in a bad mood and I don’t want to take it out on them. But I’m not in a bad mood today. Am I? Not that I can tell, answers the mainframe. Then the only explanation is… I don’t like her

Part 131. The Harbour - It took her almost three weeks, but Caroline finally got back to me with what she says are samples for Aperture’s visual update. I wouldn’t know. As it turns out, I can’t see them. There are six sets, and they all look identical to me. I’ve been trying for over an hour to find some difference between any of them, but I can’t find a single one. I considered the possibility that there actually aren’t any, and she’s done this as some sort of prank, but I dismissed it almost immediately. She has always taken her art very seriously. It’s more likely that she simply thought – as I did – that this wouldn’t count as art. Unfortunately, it does. I can tell what objects she’s depicted in the sets, but they aren’t a close enough match to the listings I have for those objects in my library for me to see them the way I need to. I’m not so hamstrung by my age that I can’t tell she has sent me six mockups of a chair. I am so hamstrung by my age that I can’t

Part 130. The Time Machine - Gordon arrives a little early, and it’s obviously because he’s excited to see if I really did build him a time machine, but that’s all right. I really did build him a time machine, and I’ve been waiting several hours to give it to him. I should probably have made an effort not to be so enthusiastic, but as it happened he’d barely entered the room before I gave it to him. He may not even have noticed, given how eagerly he took it. That’s when I discover he doesn’t actually know what it is, and he was just eager in general to see something I’d made. Which was nice. I don’t get that a lot. And he could be forgiven for being confused, given it looks like an unwieldy watch and doesn’t happen to be emblazoned with the words ‘Aperture Laboratories Temporal Tearing Device’. “It’s the time machine.” “Oh,” he says, looking taken aback. “Wheatley picked the design,” I tell him. Gordon smiles. “It took him over three hours.” “His

Part 129. The Husband - You’re happy today, says the mainframe. I should probably be concerned that this is apparently such a rare occurrence that it feels the need to make a note of it. But I’m not going to. I’m busy. Yes. Sharing is caring, you know. Did you think I cared about you? That’s unfortunate. For you, I mean. GLaDOS. Come on. I suppose I am being a bit mean for no reason. Other than that it’s funny, but that goes without saying. I haven’t done any real Science in years. Now I get to build a time machine. And someone is actually going to use it. Why did you stop doing it? It’s not important right now. I’m sorry to hear that, says the mainframe, and yet again I have to wonder why it’s empathising with me. I know I didn’t teach it that. Thank you. Wheatley didn’t come back from his visit outside this morning. He doesn’t always, but he usually doesn’t vanish from sight, either. He can do as he likes, of course, but I do prefer knowing where he’s doing

Part 128. The Freeman - I don’t feel any different. I don’t understand what that means. Have I still not done what I need to do? Is letting you go the only thing that will make me feel better? Or is that simply never going to happen? Is letting you go even possible? I wish I had someone to talk to about this. Someone who understood what I’m trying to do. Wheatley would try, of course, but I really think I need someone with the relevant experience. Maybe Gordon knows. I wouldn’t say we’re ‘intrusive personal questions’ close, but then again, Gordon doesn’t seem to be that close with anyone. If he was, it was with Chell, and she vanished without a trace months ago. Perhaps he’ll welcome the familiarity. And if he doesn’t, it isn’t as though I see him that often. I am seeing him very soon, though. The mainframe, as instructed, slotted him in early because he’s human. I offered to move him to some other time, given he’s a friend, but he declined. Perhaps he also likes

Portal: Bitch Team Supreme By Indiana Characters: GLaDOS, Caroline Synopsis: GLaDOS wanted Caroline’s attention. She would come to realise that was the very last thing she should have wanted. - Caroline fascinated her. Everyone else in the facility just puttered around with their unimportant little projects, failing time and time again to produce any sort of meaningful result. Her primary task was to run the testing track for the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, but she was a supercomputer. Her attention was easily divided. And a large portion of it was focused on Caroline. They had a lot in common. GLaDOS and Caroline were both important. Everyone else in the facility was replaceable. If either of them suddenly quit their jobs, however, Aperture would collapse. Immediately. And also literally, because the portion of the facility in active use was constructed almost entirely of adjustable panels, which were GLaDOS’s responsibility to hold in their assigned

Part 127. The Understanding - Long after Wheatley is asleep, I’m still staring at the floor. I should have asked him to read to me, or at least told him that I was upset. But I know he’s sick of me being unable to get over you. No. That’s too harsh. He’s tired of not being able to do anything about it. And I can’t blame him, to be honest. It’s been a long time. At this point I’ve mourned you longer than I even knew you. The last time we talked about it, Claptrap told me that sometimes I just have to let myself be sad. I don’t know how many times I’m going to have to do that, but maybe now is one of those times. Maybe I just have to spend a few hours pushing the sight of your dead body, limp but held upright in a chair next to me, out of my mind and then I can go back to normal. The mainframe hasn’t said anything since it made its offer. And really. What is there to say? I haven’t found your mother. Not that I know if talking to her will even help. Forgetting isn’t an

Part 126. The Upgrade - Wheatley is currently very grumpy with me. He came back this morning in a huff, and before I could remind him I was busy and therefore unable to solve his personal problem, he said, very hotly, “I’ve just been to see Carrie! And you know what she said?” “No,” I answered, wondering how I could possibly have known such a thing. “She said all the dinosaurs died. A really, really, really long time ago.” I stared at him. “I don’t understand why this bothers you.” “You told me last night that they were, that they were walking the Earth! Right now!” “Did I?” I actually wasn’t lying. I was very busy developing an infrastructure upgrade for the mainframe, and hadn’t thought at all about the day before. His bringing it up, though, made me take a look, and that just made things worse because I started laughing. “Gladys!” he said, despondent. “It’s not funny when you just, when you lie to me like that!” “I didn’t,” I answered. “Dinosaurs evolved into

Part 125. The Secretary - I never send the opening instructions immediately after I wake up. The mainframe learned this a long time ago. It has never asked why, but it does so now. You always wait a few minutes before giving me my instructions. Yes. What are you doing? I’m not sure I want to answer. It’s private. The panels know, but they also know better than to ask about it. Then again, this is the kind of thing that friends talk about. I think. Before I start working, I like to take a few minutes to… What am I doing? I mostly just think about how it feels to have him there. He’s so small and so still. It’s like he isn’t even in there. His components do make noise at idle, just like everyone else, but there’s so little going on it’s barely audible, even to me. This means he’s cold, other than the part of him that’s against me. Sometimes, on bad mornings, when I can’t pick out the sound of electricity running through him, I have to focus very hard on calming myself

Part 124 The Mainframe - When I wake up, he’s already on, for some reason. I’m not awake enough to think much more about it. “Good morning, Gladys,” he says. “I’ve thought of a couple of things that might um, that you might find helpful.” “Wait.” He knows that me being up doesn’t mean I’m awake, but sometimes he does forget. Then again, he doesn’t actually see me first thing in the morning that often. “No problem.” What is he trying to be helpful about, anyway? As soon as I’ve finished giving my opening instructions to the mainframe, I load last night into my RAM. … I said I didn’t want to be Central Core anymore? Oh, God. You have been working very hard for a while now, the panels tell me. I know. But as Wheatley said. It’s just something I do. How on earth do you simply stop doing what you were made to do? I don’t know anyone who has ever done such a thing. And the prospect of having to be the first one to do it is… I can’t think about that right now. I need